Well it appears that bank executives didn't make the same stupid mistakes the auto industry executives did. However, they're all still just a bunch of cowardly little schoolboys hiding behind Mommy's dress. The fearless CEOs of our nation's largest remaining banks were invited to talk before Congress yesterday and testify about how they've been spending the taxpayer's cash. Unlike the auto company CEOs, who must have a combined IQ of something like 64, the bank executives had the good sense to fly commercial airlines or maybe ride in with the people's man, Joe Biden on bankrupt Amtrak. I am sure they all stopped at Trader Joe's and packed some lite treats before boarding the flight rather than purchase the airlines' $7 snack pack! But none of them had the guts or gonads to call out the arrogant, condescending, egocentric, showboat hypocrites on Capitol Hill.

"How do you justify," asked one of our arrogant elected officials, "taking a million-dollar salary when your company is operating at a loss?" The ideal response would have been, "Because I spent that much on booze alone after you passed a law forcing my company to give home loans to people who couldn't pay me back." Or maybe, "The same way you borrow billions that you don't have...with a smile on my face, of course." But, no, all the little CEO's were quiet.

And they were silent when the elegant , sophisticated and knowledgeable Maxine Waters, a Democrat from California, complained the banks were too slow in renegotiating the terms of the loans her constituents had agreed to and were now unable to fulfill. They were silent when they were asked if they had increased credit-card interest rates on cardholders who were delinquent in paying their debts.

Here's what should have been said...

My fellow thieves, crooks and partners, our century-long scam known as the Federal Reserve with fractional reserve banking is now coming to an end. Yes it has been a great run. As bank executives, we've been able to line our pockets with generous stock options and golden parachutes that ensure our families live like kings from now until eternity. And as elected officials, you've been able to cater to the lowest instinct of your constituents, ensure your reelection, and fill your bank accounts with an eternal stream of campaign contributions. Congrats to all of us.

Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme is nothing more than a pimple on the ass of what we've put together here. Thank God, the people have not caught on to this. It is truly a masterpiece in criminal design! By working together, we have extorted trillions in interest payments out of thin air and we've fleeced the American taxpayer for trillions more of their treasury tax dollars and did so, without use of any force. Bank executives have lived high off the hog for years. We have mansions in the Hamptons, 60-foot yachts, private jets, and personal chefs. As elected officials, you have all of those same tax payer supported benefits, unbelievable pensions, plus the ability to vote yourselves a pay raise when you too, are not profitable. You can increase your office petty cash expense fund by $93,000 as you did so recently and then grandstand in front of the television cameras even though you're guilty of the same abhorrent behavior you accuse us of.

With any luck, we'll have a few more years to suck off the teat of the American taxpayer. But beware. If we go down, then you'll go down, too. If I am able to do so, I'll take all of the remaining TARP funds and use them to buy precious metals, since the US Treasury as we know it, has NONE. I know metals have rallied quite a bit lately. If I'm going to finally take responsibility for generating profits for my shareholders, I can't think of a better long-term investment at the moment. Especially with you folks in charge in Washington.

A job well done. Thank you.